Last Monday I received a text message at 8.18am from a woman I met in October last year (I wrote about that here).
She said, in her text message, that it might come as a surprise but she and her partner are finally ready to get married.
They’d had a very challenging journey during the past few months, so it had taken them a while, and they were hoping I was still available and able to come to the hospital as soon as possible.
I asked if she was thinking in the next couple of days. She said “any time, some time later today would be fine.” I told her I’d come tomorrow at 10am. She sent me the details for finding the hospital ward and I told her I’ll meet her outside the lifts. The wedding was organised in 24 hours.
I arrive at the hospital, dressed in navy suit pants and my favourite jacket. I text the bride and when she arrives to get me she tells me I’m more dressed up than she is, and she appreciates that. She’s wearing a long sleeved shirt, vest and pants. I have some pink flowers embroidered on my jacket and she appreciates them too. She tells me the doctor said no fresh flowers are allowed.
She takes me to the groom’s hospital room. I’m told to sanitise my hands and put on an N95 mask before I go inside. He’s wearing a blue shirt and sitting up in bed. He has leukaemia. He is dying. I say hello and he smiles. His adult son is there, and his two brothers. Then a couple arrives. Five guests in total. The bride calls some family members on WhatsApp so they can watch the wedding. They’re in Germany, where it’s 2am, and Texas, where it’s 7pm. Those watching at a civilised hour have champagne and a wedding cake for a celebration after the ceremony is over.
The bride sits on a chair next to the groom’s bed. I sit on a chair too, at an angle I can speak to the couple as well as the guests, who are standing.
The groom is overwhelmed by the love in the room. I can feel the grace embracing us all and it’s rare and precious and I do my best to remain open-hearted and professional.
The groom says he never thought he’d get married in a hospital. I say “life’s a mystery” and he nods, knowingly, with tears in his eyes.
This couple has chosen the simplest of ceremonies; just the required legal parts. It only takes a couple of minutes. Their kiss melts my heart. Their rings, made by the bride, glow with love. We all have tears in our eyes as we congratulate them and they take in the fact that they are now married. That after just a few minutes of saying the right legal words they are married.
We sign the paperwork. I hand the bride their fancy marriage certificate and a little card with a love heart that’s made of wildflower seeds to plant, and a couple of heart-shaped chocolates. I look at the groom to say goodbye and I wonder what’s the best thing to say in this situation? “All the best” would have felt strange, weird, wrong.
We meet eyes and keep our gaze with intention, for longer than would be considered usual between two people who don’t know one another. I raise my hands into the Namaste position, and I say, “Lots of love.” He raises his hands too, and we nod at each other knowingly.
I’ve married more than 60 couples in the past nearly two years. Every couple is different, every wedding is different, and they’re always wonderful, special and lovely. This wedding was by far the most moving. No wedding dress. No petals to throw as confetti. No decorations. And it was so incredibly beautiful.
The bride walks me to the lifts. We stop to chat for a few minutes. She tells me that she and her new husband have been together for 18 years and were talking seriously about getting married before he was diagnosed with leukaemia.
She tells me he had a bone marrow transplant that didn’t work. She tells me he’s lost his hair twice from chemotherapy. She tells me he’s nearly died a couple of times from complications. She tells me he doesn’t have long to live. She tells me she will have to learn to adjust to life without him.
I tell her their wedding was the most beautiful I’ve been privileged to experience. She is surprised by this. Then she tells me it’s important to do “life” things. I understand this as wanting to experience as much of the beauty of life as possible while her husband continues to deteriorate. She tells she made her wedding ring from a pearl he gave her 10 years ago. She says the support they’ve received from strangers has been unexpected and magick – with a ‘k.’ Strangers have become friends, and she says she includes me amongst them.
A funeral is imminent. She didn’t know I’m a funeral celebrant too, and is very glad to know this. We hug, she goes back to the hospital room, her new husband and wedding guests, and I press the button and wait for the lift.
I sat in my car afterwards and cried for the beauty of love, the resilience of the human spirit, and how cruel life can be sometimes. I cried for the beauty of a desire to create special moments overflowing with love amidst the deterioration of a life. I cried for the beauty of wedding rings handmade by the bride. I cried for the beauty of all the support this couple has received from strangers. I cried for the beauty of the mystery too, the darkness - and grace.
What an honour.
Step into your most powerful era - September 2027
What does power look like for you in your life now? It’s a question I ask myself often, because at midlife it changes, and what the world requires of us changes too.
I also wonder whether other women continue to encounter old patterns of giving away their power that they thought they “should” have outgrown by now. At 55 years old, I still do.
I think too about the fact that it’s impossible to step into our most powerful era alone. We can’t see what we can’t see. This world was not designed by us or for us, and we are not here to be invisible. We care deeply about contributing to a world that works for everyone.
And - it takes a community to boldly step into our power together. To be courageous together. To hold one another. To champion one another. We can’t do it alone.
In my own life, I’m well aware that I’ve done a lot of “performing” power, albeit not consciously. It’s time for something more authentic, nuanced and quiet – and much more powerful at the same time.
It’s amazing what unfolds when a community of women gather with a shared intention, away from their ordinary lives, and reclaim who they truly are now - what their unique brand of power and medicine is now - in sacred ceremonies, getting close to nature and themselves, and being more supported than they likely knew possible.
I’m inviting you to experience for yourself at the Radiant Heart retreat. Several spaces have already been booked. You can find out more by clicking the link here:
Radiant Heart retreat, Bali, September 12-17
If you’re thinking you can’t possibly work out what you’ll be doing in your life in September 2027 – it’s a year away! – the women who’ve already booked tell me it gives them time to plan, work out payments, and, perhaps most importantly, they understand that when they commit to themselves like this life starts to meet them there. They already start to step into their most powerful era. Saying yes to yourself will do that.
A new (vulnerable) opportunity
I value generosity, and it’s important to me to provide free content for you. I will always do that.
For quite some time I’ve also wanted to share more intimately than I feel comfortable doing in this public arena. Guiding women home to their power means I live my own experiences and lessons, and they inform what I teach. This is my soul’s purpose, and let’s just say that life well and truly takes me there. I don’t always get it right. At the moment I’m encountering opportunities and complexities in my personal life that are teaching me more about power. I want to talk about all this bravely and truthfully, to be raw and real. There’s lots of gold to mine and I trust it’s useful to you. I don’t want to share it publicly, and I won’t be.
So, I’ve decided to offer a range of paid memberships at a very reasonable price for you; just a few dollars a week. I’ll also be randomly selecting two founding members to receive an offering from nature at some point during your year of membership – when it feels right – just for you, along with the meanings I gleaned from the process that I trust are relevant in your life. I love to make these for you.
If you’d like to join my tribe as a paid subscriber I’d be so grateful. I’ll look forward to connecting with you more deeply:
Powerful Women’s Dinner - Adelaide {final reminder}
I grew up in Adelaide. It’s where I started my business, and the last time I offered an in-person get together there was in 2020. I can’t believe it was that long ago. My life has taken a few turns since then, and right now I’m sitting with a feeling of full circle.
What’s meant for our soul will knock on our door, again and again.
I decided to offer this dinner to gather some women I haven’t seen in a while, along with some I haven’t met yet. I value authentic, intimate connection. It’s one of my favourite things, especially when we take part in a sacred ceremony too. I’ll also give a talk about the three main qualities required to lead and be the women the world needs now.
When I last checked there were 3 spaces left. Ticket sales close on September 8th. Click here to book your space.
I’m so looking forward to sharing this with you!
With love,
Tricia x