I hope you’re okay.
Things are moving quickly in the world at the moment. Long overdue endings are happening fast. It’s a time to ask ourselves and be ruthlessly honest with our answers: What needs to end now so that I can live more in my power?
After nearly two weeks of feeling very flat, and going through all the reasons why it could be happening (hormonal fluctuations, not sleeping well, too much of my time focusing on things I don’t want to be focusing on, too much busy-ness, the current astrology climate for me, a world on fire), I reminded myself that something must be de-pressed within.
I (admittedly reluctantly, and then reminded myself that looking after myself is what matters most) took myself away for 2 nights to stay in a tiny B&B across the road from the beach.
I knew I needed solitude. I get a lot done when I’m alone and staying somewhere that’s surrounded by nature. The little B&B was on a farm with sheep, including a pet lamb called “Pooey” (apparently he’s a trouble maker, and his “mum” was a little embarrassed to tell me his name) who ran down the driveway to greet me. The beach was directly across the road with a little private path leading to it. I slept with the door wide open (screen door closed) and could hear the waves and see the nearly full moon from my bed.
I walked on the beach and was the only person there. I made an offering and did a ritual to let go of something that needed to end. I dug deep on a health issue that’s been making me feel less than powerful and took back my power. I gave thanks to my wise self for making me feel de-pressed so that I’d realise I needed to stop my usual life and go in to discover what needed my attention. I left that B&B feeling like myself again, in my power, and even inspired and excited too.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to stay sane in a world that’s growing increasingly mad. I’ve arrived at three things that I feel are the most important. I hope they can support you too:
1. There’s always love
There are people we love who love us. There’s so much about this world we love too. Amidst all that’s horrific, there’s always love. Focus on where the love is and cultivate it. Make love in your own community your altar, and worship at it.
There’s so much fear in the world and it’s asking for love. Being love doesn’t mean you have to be loud or performative. We can be a force of healing simply by embodying love. Breathe out compassion. Choose kindness, even if it’s just towards yourself (I say just but often that’s the most difficult thing to do. It seems so much easier to be kind to others). Smile and say hello to strangers. Help someone if you can (remembering to take care of yourself first. Don’t try to give what you don’t have to give. Your energy is the most powerful and your heart’s the most generous when you’re nourished).
Love can happen quietly and easily. It’s still love, and it ripples out to the world. Love is always healing.
2. There’s always beauty
Beauty opens our hearts. The beauty of nature reminds us that we are nature, and we are cyclical. Just as the sun rises and sets, and as the moon rises and sets too; we are that. What’s difficult will pass. It always does. In the meantime, choose beauty.
There’s so much beauty in this world. For me, flowers bring me home to my heart. They nourish my soul and bring tears to my eyes. Whenever life is feeling overwhelming, going outside and looking at and being with trees and flowers resets me. It reminds me what truly matters. We all have our own version of beauty. Seek it. Stay a while. Soak it in.
Beauty will help you stay sane.
3. There’s always power
So many of the horrors of our world are created and perpetuated by people - and their oppressive systems - who believe that power means having power over others.
As women, we know all too well about historical, cultural and modern instances of this. From witch hunts to domestic violence, to less obvious ways (on the surface at least) we’ve all experienced being dominated and silenced in our lives. We’ve been told and sold how and who we should be and the programming runs deep, so much so that we’re often blind to the truth. It’s not our fault. This world wasn’t designed by us or for us, but we absolutely need to become the solution.
Patriarchy is in its death throes. While it’s not just women but the feminine in men that has been wounded and denigrated too, I believe it’s up to us women to lead the way. That starts with owning our power in every part of our lives.
I’ve narrowed down the areas where power over can insidiously sneak in and overtake for us, even for those of us who are capable, conscious, successful leaders. We’re part of a collective force that’s perpetuating power over, and we need to be vigilant. We need to keep our own power in check and support one another to do it together.
I have so much to say about this. For now, I want to share the four areas where power over can take over for us in our lives:
Shame: Our shame keeps us small and feeling unworthy. It makes us compliant. It stops us from rocking the boat or saying something that might upset someone. How is your wound of “not good enough” showing up for you in your life? What’s the story that keeps playing out? Are you still trying to prove your worth? How are you abandoning yourself? What are your self-sabotaging patterns? Every time we buy into shame we lose power.
Desire: So many of us feel alienated from what we truly want. So many of us have put an extraordinary amount of energy into being wanted by others. Our precious life force that could have been channelled into our longings that has instead focused on pleasing others, or being attractive to them. Resentment, frustration and feeling out of control lives here. How are you sacrificing your authenticity? Your sovereignty? What do you want? If you stepped out of the story of wanting to be wanted by others, what would you truly want? It wants you too. It really does. Your desire is full of power.
Anger: Our anger is powerful and wise. Suppressing it isn’t, although most of us have been taught to do that because anger isn’t appropriate or acceptable. Anger arks up when boundaries haven’t been honoured. It’s natural, protective and sometimes a reaction to injustice, frustration, fear, guilt or powerlessness. There’s a lot of power lurking in anger, that, when acknowledged and expressed in healthy ways, can give us a whole lot more vitality and authenticity. We can use our anger as a sacred gift with compassion and clear purpose. What are you angry about? What’s your hurt, fear and disappointment trying to tell you? What’s happening in your body when you feel these emotions? How can you take care of yourself and express it constructively?
Grief: When our losses go untended it wears us out. In a culture that silences, rushes and shames grief, where getting over it and getting on with it is prized, our precious hearts are left wanting and we become exhausted at best, ill at worst. Grief contains a huge amount of aliveness for us, beauty - and medicine. It expands our power. What are you grieving? What are your losses asking to be named? How have you not allowed your grief to exist? How can you reconnect with what’s sacred in this life?
Not buying into shame, owning, expressing and fulfilling our desires, anger and grief in healthy ways, means more aliveness, beauty, purpose, joy and power. More than most of us knew was even possible.
One space left – Held retreat, Bali, June 21-26
There is one space left. If you feel oddly unsettled by that, it might be yours.
When I decide to run a retreat, and once I’ve paid the deposit for the venue, I go on what I’ll call a “ride” to become the person I need to be to hold the space for the women who are joining me. In many ways I’m already that person, of course, but a refining of my power happens along the way. It’s a process I love.
The woman who books the last spot in a retreat is usually someone who has been watching for a while. She’s often at the edge of a threshold in her life, and feeling some ambivalence or fear, and a sense of “this retreat is for me but I don’t know why.”
If that’s you, I want you to know you are so welcome. I’m ready for you, and so are the other women. As I’ve said to a few people lately, the women already coming are wonderful – wise, kind, and fun too. The space will hold you, however you show up. There’s room for your particular timing, grief, beauty - and power.
The door is open. All you need to do is reply to this email.
And…
A few people have asked me and it’s been on my mind to share this with you.
My daughter Lila didn’t end up getting a contract:
"I'm not giving up"
This story is being shared with my daughter, Lila’s permission. I find myself wanting to share more openly here, and have felt reticent at times because anyone can see my articles. I’ve now switched my settings to private, so that only my subscribers will be able to see what I write.
It was such a rollercoaster at the end (well, all the way through really). The company was running more than a month behind with its decision-making process. There were three days where I felt the decisions about performers were being made, and for those three days – a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday - I felt extremely nervous with butterflies in my tummy all day.
Then the energy that we’d been holding for months, that had felt like a contract was certain, started to dwindle. By the following Tuesday it had disappeared and I knew a contract wasn’t coming. I didn’t say that to Lila. I was feeling sad for her, and grateful to have time to move through my own disappointment for her before, two weeks later, it was clear to Lila that there wasn’t a contract with her name on it.
A record number of current performers auditioned to stay another year, meaning there were nowhere near as many contracts for 2026. The new performers they did choose had to be the same body size as the current performers because they all share costumes. The bottom line: Lila is a few dress sizes too small.
It’s messed up. You can be one centimetre too tall or short and not be “suitable” regardless of your talent and being quintessentially what they want in every other way.
After nearly an entire year of focusing on this, I expected Lila to be devastated. Her response surprised me. While there was more “My life is over” it didn’t last long, and she began considering what’s next.
She has been accepted into an acting school in Melbourne. Acting is what she wants to do most. I’m noticing a settling in her in a way I haven’t encountered before. She’s nesting and grounding. She’s starting a part-time job as a dance teacher for little girls in prep and year 1. She’s had some actor headshots taken (I’m blown away by them). She’s putting together her resume and showreel for auditions.
It feels like she’s exactly where she’s meant to be – for now.
I’m proud of her, and I’m glad she’s still here.
If you’re new here, welcome. This space is where I write about owning our power, with a focus on love, loss, beauty and the tender art of being human.
If this speaks to you, I’d love you to stay connected. Subscribe to receive future letters, stories, and invitations to gatherings where we come home to our power.
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