The power of connection

Why our feminine power will save us

I’m sitting on the tram next to a boy who I guess is around 10 years-old. He’s playing a game on his phone, oblivious to anyone or anything around him. Immersed in the world on the small screen in the palm of his hand. A woman sits directly opposite him. I guess she’s his mum. They look similar. They don’t say a single word to one another. She glances at him often and purses her lined lips. Then she seems to drift away with whatever thoughts she’s thinking.

It’s a common sight every time I’m on a tram. And yet, all I can think and feel is how strange our culture of disconnection is.

*

I receive an email from a guy I don’t know who’s wondering if I’d like to host one of my women’s retreats on his private luxury catamaran in Sardinia in 2027. He came across one of my old retreats, apparently, and “spent a while with the way you describe your work. Your line about put the Wise Woman back on the map captures something most brands in this space skirt around. What stood out most is how specifically you hold space for the women who land in your world at this stage of life. It feels less like a retreat brand and more like a lens on how this chapter is meant to be lived.”

It’s clear the email was not written with his own words. I look up his website. His business is legitimate and has plenty of five-star google reviews.

I wonder how he found me given the specific retreat (from many years ago) that he was referring to isn’t published online. I do a search to confirm this.

I respond to his email. I ask him how he came across my old retreat given it was never published online and is nowhere to be found.

His new best friend AI writes back. It starts with “Fair question — and you’re right to call it out.” It tells me it’s been “running outreach” to “midlife retreat leaders.”

I also tell him his retreats look magical, and at this stage I’m focusing only on Bali. This is my careful, thoughtful way of saying, “thanks, but no thanks.”

It tells me again that if I have a retreat coming up in 2027 it would love to hear about it. In other words, it has taken no notice whatsoever of what I said in my email. There is no real conversation here, and it makes me cross. It feels like a personal affront to my humanity.

I’m still wondering too how this guy’s new best friend AI found my old retreat.

I consider writing back asking if I could please hear from the human who captains the catamaran. Then I wonder what’s the point? Do I really want to spend my time and energy being an AI finger-pointing machine? (I do realise, by the way, that that’s exactly what I’m doing right now).

*

A couple I’m marrying feeds the ceremony script I’ve written for them into ChatGPT. They send it back to me, telling me it’s exactly what they want.

I’m mortified. It’s not written for speaking out loud. It doesn’t sound like the way a real human being speaks. Most of all, it’s not how I speak – and I’m the person they’ve chosen to stand up the front doing the speaking, facilitating a heartfelt ceremony for them.

I write a new clause in my client service agreement: The ceremony script that’s written for you is the celebrant’s intellectual property and is not to be altered via Artificial Intelligence software. Any potential script changes must be communicated via direct consultation with your celebrant.

*

I read an article by a woman whose no-nonsense voice about midlife I found refreshing when I first discovered her. The essence of what she writes is spot on. The more articles I read though, the more I notice they start to irritate me. The more something feels off.

She uses a lot of em dashes in her writing. She confesses during a replay of an online call I watch that she’s not a writer and never has been. AI writes all her articles. She says she thinks everyone’s doing that, we’re just not admitting it.

*

I go a High Tea with the Stars event hosted by fellow astrologer Steph. The event coincides with the new moon in Aries. It starts a new chapter for all of us, with a focus on self-identity, action and initiative.

We look at how it will likely affect each of us, then we make a treasure map, or vision board, for our next 12 months.

As I write this, I’m looking over at what I created. It’s propped up on my desk, just behind my computer monitor. All the pictures are of nature: a full moon, flowers, sunset over an ocean, an echidna going about its business, and an abundant garden. There’s a woman sitting atop a mountain with her arms wide open. Words too: beauty, feelgood travel, the spiritual retreat, health, reclaim, reconnect, relationship, the joy reset.

These words stand out the most to me: “A happy life is about feeling connected to other people.”

*

Nick Cave writes that he’s trying to limit the time he spends on his phone: “zero social media, as always, but also fewer podcasts.”

He says, “I find that going about my business in relative silence, with attentiveness to the things around me, and free from the relentless opinions of others, is good for the soul. I am back in my office writing lyrics at the moment and am particularly in need of quiet, so that the words can find their way.”

Amen.

*

As a woman who helps other women to own their power, I think daily about to whom and what we give our power.

We live in a world that’s intent on distraction and disconnection. It’s becoming harder to discern what’s real and true. Genuine connection is more difficult to find. I’m stewing in a growing sense of frustration and sadness about the rapid decline in our willingness to genuinely connect with one another, in the name of being clever so we can get things done faster.

We weren’t designed for constant input either. Human beings need solitude to digest information. To integrate. To hear the sound of our own inner voice. To hear our own truth and then make choices for our lives that are true for us – not who we’ve been told and sold we should be.

We also weren’t designed to “communicate” with the same fake voices representing millions, maybe even billions of people.

The antidote is feminine power, particularly our intuition. It’s essential for navigating these times. Soul wisdom too. Weaving and nourishing communities. Collaborating. Relational intelligence. Our true voices.

We are the medicine the world needs. We always have been. Artificial Intelligence can’t ever meet or replace that.

I’m working on creating more spaces for real connection with ourselves and one another so we can grow our power together. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t know any other way to do it.

I’m off to Bali later this week. I’ll be reacquainting myself with Mama Bali and sitting at her feet, surrendering to whatever she has in store for me this time. I’ll be basking in the beauty of orchids, frangipani and bougainvillea, and the local women’s daily blessings, no doubt with tears streaming down my cheeks. I’ll be taking a sacred pilgrimage across a lake at the base of a volcano to visit temples and receive blessings, chants and prayers with Bali’s youngest High Priestess. I’ll be remembering that I am nature and we’re all connected. I’ll be spending time with dear friends and likely having a few massages too. And I’ll be preparing to welcome a group of wise women who are choosing to make beauty from what’s broken their hearts, and discover more aliveness, fun, laughter and joy – and power.

Watch this space.

I’d love to hear from you. How does this land with you? What’s keeping you genuinely connected with yourself and others?

PS I wrote every word of this article with my authentic intelligence.

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