I’m 55 years old. I’m a few months shy of being declared officially in menopause. There’s a burning in my bones. At night it’s in my cheeks and torso too. It seems to arise mostly when I’m doing or thinking about something – a behaviour, mindset, or story - that needs to change, die, or take hold within me.
It’s wild how midlife brings up so much from the past to revisit and burn away. Here’s a selection of my reminders and what’s on fire for me. I wonder if you relate?
This is me reminding myself…
I can’t keep abandoning myself.
When I speak up I help burn truth into a world that desperately needs it.
Crumbs are for birds, not powerful women.
The greatest gift I can give the world is to be wholly myself – in all my gloriously wild and messy contradictions.
I’m enough.
Good girls aren’t the women the world needs now. But wild women, unashamedly connected to our power and unapologetically using our voices to speak truths? Yes. Yes, we’re needed now.
My anger, truth, radiance and sorrow are the ingredients required to brew my own unique brand of medicine for our world.
My deepest wounds carry my greatest gifts.
Sometimes there’s no perfect answer, and I have to choose the least worst option.
What other people think of me is none of my business.
I don’t need to be understood to be enough or loved.
Honouring my soul’s purpose is more important than keeping everyone else comfortable.
Getting better at disappointing people is more important – and necessary - than disappointing myself.
This is me reminding myself that I’m learning, learning, learning how to stop trampling all over my own boundaries.
It’s better to consciously make tough decisions and take action rather than waiting for life to do it for me.
I did my best. I did my best. I did my best. Knowing what I know now, I hope I’ll do something different next time. And, I did my best.
I already know what I need to do, and there’s a part of me that wishes I didn’t.
Even when it’s hard, even when it hurts someone else, the most compassionate approach is honesty.
I don’t have to be nice.
I don’t have to want what I should want.
I don’t have to want what I used to want.
Because something was right before doesn’t mean it’s right for who I’m becoming now.
This is me reminding myself…
It’s wise to choose what makes me feel alive, and unwise to keep choosing what makes me feel depleted.
I don’t have to endure something for the sake of duty.
I’m enough.
It’s not my job to be easy to make someone else feel comfortable.
This is me reminding myself to stop being unkind to myself in the name of making other people’s lives easier.
The truth might disrupt my life in ways I’d prefer it didn’t. This is me reminding myself that pretending in the name of pleasing, and lying to myself, costs me more.
It’s not my job to keep everyone else happy.
Deep down, I know the answers – and sometimes I wish I didn’t, or that they were different and easier.
This is me reminding myself that I don’t exist to be my adult child’s servant.
More of my aliveness, radiance, power and joy are the reward for living in ways that are aligned with my truth. This is me reminding myself that that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Pretending I still want what I’ve already outgrown is exhausting.
This is me reminding myself that my body doesn’t want sugar.
Trading my wildness for making sense to others and belonging is draining, exhausting, and diminishes my power.
The gifts I carry don’t fit into a neat box and it’s not my job to convince anyone.
This is me reminding myself that I’m allowed to change my mind.
This is me reminding myself that I can forgive myself.
This is me reminding myself that the soul’s path – my soul’s path – isn’t linear.
This is me reminding myself that I’ve changed and I’ll keep changing because I’m alive and refuse to stay stuck in something that’s no longer my truth.
This is me reminding myself that saying No is not mean. It’s one of the best forms of self-care.
This is me reminding myself that there’s no need to say sorry for things that aren’t my responsibility.
It’s more than okay – and required – to put my wellbeing first.
This is me reminding myself that following my deepest knowing will always keep me on the right track.
This is me reminding myself that when I stop lying to myself I can become the woman I want to be and create the life I want to have.
This is me reminding myself that I’m not broken. I’m becoming.
This is me reminding myself that I’m allowed – and need – to rest.
This is me reminding myself what truly matters.
This is me reminding myself where to invest my energy, and where to stop.
This is me reminding myself that I can remember who I truly am through the stories I believed that kept me small and that my soul refused.
This is me reminding myself to stop pretending I don’t know.
This is me standing at a crossroads and choosing myself.
This is me owning that my standards have changed.
This is me owning that what I want has changed.
This is me choosing to stop pushing and striving, and start trusting myself and life more.
This is me choosing what lights me up, no matter what other people think.
This is me returning the parts of myself that no longer serve to the earth, so that the woman I truly am now can rise.
And – this is me saying thank you to my internal fire that keeps burning to remind me and affirm my truth.
I didn’t expect my list of reminders to be so long. There’s likely more to add. As we stand at the precipice of a wiser, mature feminine authority, everything is up for grabs. This is a sacred initiation. It means business.
Are you burning too, as reminders show up in your life? Many of these reminders don’t just arise at midlife.
What speaks to you from this list? What would you add for yourself? I’d love to hear in the comments, if you’re willing to share.
I think I’ll print this list to keep reminding myself. Maybe you’d like to do the same?
Powerful Women’s Dinner - Adelaide, September 17
Gathering a group of powerful women is one of my favourite things to do, especially when we enter a sacred ceremony together. Our intentions are powerful. Energy follows intention, so when we name what we’d like to let go of in our lives, call in what we’d love in its place, and have it witnessed with love by others, it opens the way for magic to happen.
That’s what we’ll do at the dinner, along with connecting with the beauty of nature. I’m going to give a talk too. I’ve been working on the three main qualities we must carry to lead and be the women the world needs now. I’m talking about mature feminine authority – not performing power. We’ve all had enough of that, I think.
There are tickets available. They’re just $25 + GST. If you’ve been meaning to book yours and haven’t yet, this is your reminder. Bring a friend if you want to.
Click here: All the information and tickets are here
Radiant Heart Retreat - Bali, September 2027
Are you longing to come home to the parts of yourself that are free, alive and powerful?
Are you ready to say yes to yourself, your truth, your heart and soul - for real this time?
I’ll be releasing information about the Radiant Heart retreat soon. If you’d love to know more, please reply to this email and I’ll be in touch.
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PS I wrote this article all by myself, with my authentic intelligence :)
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Thank you, I needed to read that today. xo